Remember the Halloween movies from the 1980s? Uperspooky serial killer Michael Myers never ran after his victims. He just kept moving forward — calmly — relentlessly. His lack of urgency was the creepiest thing about him, and his victims would inevitably do something dumb because of their panic.

Okay, before you get the wrong idea, no one is suggesting that you take relationship advice from a serial killer. And yet….

Anxiety and panic will almost always get you into trouble. Whether your child is 2 and literally runs away from you with the car keys or whether your child is 12 and runs away from all of your questions about school, the worst thing you can do is to let on just how badly you want to catch them. If you panic, you’ll end up making careless mistakes and may encourage them to run farther away from you.

Kids will naturally turn and follow someone they respect and trust. Care more about becoming that type of parent, and you won’t have to run very far to catch a great relationship with your kids.