Image: Flickr/greg westfall

“It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation.” (John Gray)

We hate to admit it, but there are times when we go to extremes simply to avoid confrontation with our children. Sometimes we don’t want to disappoint them. Sometimes we don’t have confidence in our own authority. Sometimes it’s just easier. But when you walk on eggshells around your child, you’re treading on dangerous ground. Kids of all ages need to know that you are strong enough to withstand their tantrums and tirades. It helps them feel safe if they can’t blow you over or make you blow up.

So, when your child bumps up against you or the consequences you’ve set for her, don’t tighten up and brace for the worse. Change your perspective and see it as a chance for growth — both for you and for her. For you, it’s a chance to flex your ScreamFree muscle and show that you can stay calm and connected in any situation. For her, it’s a chance to learn about the law of sowing and reaping. After all, conflict is a part of life and you want to equip your child to handle it. By showing her how to approach it with quiet strength and understanding, you are giving a gift that is certain not to spoil.