Would you rather be unhappy, or uncomfortable?
One of the most difficult things about being a professional helper is watching people choose unhappy over uncomfortable. Rather than choose to take a new, albeit uncomfortable step, they choose to sit back into their familiar unhappiness.
- Instead of simply telling his son a solid “no,” and then choosing to outlast the kid’s fit with his calm, a dad chooses to cave and give in, yet again. “It’s just easier.”
- Instead of revealing to her husband how much his comments in front of their friends hurt, a wife chooses to fake a smile and resent the heck out of him, and herself. “It’s not worth it. It’ll just cause a fight.”
- Instead of choosing to calmly confront an employee about his continued tardiness, a boss just closes his door and hopes he’ll get better. “It’s not that bad.”
We all do this in our own way, whether choosing comfort food instead of a better diet, choosing to sleep in instead of building that new exercise habit, or choosing to watch porn instead of pursuing real sex with our significant other.
I don’t want us to shame ourselves for these choices, I just want us to think differently about them. Familiar is quick, easy, and comfortable, even if it makes us more and more unhappy overall.
I don’t want us to shame ourselves for these choices, I just want us to think differently about them. Familiar is quick, easy, and comfortable, even if it makes us more and more unhappy overall.
But if we’re willing to be uncomfortable, for the sake of choosing a potentially happier way, there’s a whole new world out there.
Peace begins with pause,
