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November 9, 2015

Parenting begins with Pause

shutterstock_228503593The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mother and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all.
(Dr. Benjamin Spock)

I’ve often said that the real mission of ScreamFree Parenting is simply to help parents create a small pause, a breath between stimulus (your kids pushing your buttons) and response. In this pause, parents give their natural parenting principles a chance to rise above the emotional reactivity of the moment. In this pause, parents give themselves a chance to follow their best inclinations, instead of listening to their fearful anxieties of the moment.

Dr. Spock, the best read parenting expert in modern history, was never one to avoid the opportunity to advise parents. But as his quote above reveals, he recognized that most parents already have what they need when it comes to caring for their babies. I believe that such wisdom also exists as our children get older. Within our bones, we have natural inclinations that are usually best for ourselves and our kids—remaining consistent with consequences, providing balance between individuality and family togetherness, listening to our kids instead of barking at them.

What stands between us and these best inclinations is one thing—the emotional reactivity of the moment. Commit to staying cool in that moment and you’ll be amazed at what comes out.

Good parenting always begins with pause.

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