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July 8, 2016

The Relationships We Crave Most

Yesterday we talked about the terror some of us feel in our own homes. Scared of feeling rejected, ignored, dismissed, or unheard by the people who matter most, we reactively retreat to passivity and self-protection.
This is not the path to peace in our own homes, nor in our own hearts.
Instead, commit to being bolder, in a relatively small way, every day.

  • Say “no” when you mean it: “No, Sweetheart, I do not want to go the pool today.”
  • Say “yes” when you mean it: “Yes, I would like to have sex more often.”
  • When a line gets crossed, enforce it with calm: “You know the rule about taking the iPad behind a closed door, so I’m taking your screens away for 24 hours.”
  • When you feel unfairly accused, defend yourself: “You’re right, I have done that before, but not this time.”

Ultimately, learn to represent your fullest self to the fullest. That way you give yourself, and the ones who matter most, the best chance at the relationships we all crave.

Peace begins with pause,

 

 

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