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January 29, 2009

What did I do all day?

Image: Flickr/anna gutermuth

Image: Flickr/anna gutermuth

So, today was a very, very busy day. I worked pretty much non stop at my computer from 7:30 when the kids left for school until 5:00 when I picked them up from their activities. Aside from a couple of eating breaks and more than a few glances at my Facebook friends, I really wore out my computer.

The sad thing? I really couldn’t tell you what I accomplished. Don’t get me wrong. I worked. I just didn’t finish any of my work. No – it’s even more than that. The kind of work I’m doing now just isn’t finish-able. It is more like fire fighting than anything I’ve ever done and it drives me crazy.

Hear me loud and clear – I don’t miss grading papers, but I do miss finishing a teaching unit and then putting it away. I miss the clean slate feeling at the end of a novel. Now, it’s phone calls and rounds of edits. It’s the messiness of the venture that is so hard to handle.

Working outside of the ivy laden walls of the school is a double edged sword, that’s for sure. I love my freedom and I love the possibilities. But I also hate those things too. They are heavier than I ever imagined and my road has more forks than it does paths.

I suppose that I’m learning how very difficult life is – period. Yes, teaching was an exhausting profession that wore me out. But so is this. I’m guessing that there is no easy path – there are just paths. And the only option is to keep on moving foward.

2 thoughts on “What did I do all day?

  1. I havr that same feeling so often…the feeling of accomplishment when you look at a stack of graded papers, the fun of changing themes with the seasons. On the other hand, I do NOT miss report cards, staff meetings, and parent conferences!!

  2. I have enjoyed catching up on your blog! I totally agree with all your posts and they encourage me also! Keep on your path! I know you’re on the right one!

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