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  • 4.4 Screamfree leadership

    Can You Live With It?

    We’re never successful at changing anyone else, at least not for very long. And even when we think we’ve found the magic formula for altering that person’s behavior, the scary feelings usually don’t go away. In fact, they get worse, because now we’re scared that this new change won’t last. And we doubt whether the person really means it, because we’re the ones that “changed” them.

  • 3.14 screamfree learning

    Teaching Our Kids How to Learn

    My son, a sophomore in high school, asked me for help with a school project yesterday. It wasn’t Chemistry or Pre-Cal, ‘cos he knows he passed my knowledge in those areas years ago. No, this was Psychology—a topic I know something about.

  • screamfree paradox

    A Paradox of Parenting

    “Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.” -Bruce Barton One of the paradoxes of parenting is that, at the same time, we want our children to be incredibly observant about reality, and incredibly courageous in spite of what they see.  I […]

  • Lighted path

    Being Change

    “…remember, people respond not primarily to what you do, but how you’re being with them…” (The Arginger Institute, Leadership and Self-Deception) One of the most difficult things to learn (and teach), is that behavioral change, while usually welcomed, is not an end in itself. Sure, we like it when people start behaving in a better way toward us […]

  • Doing is Knowing

    “To know, and not do, is to not yet know.” (Zen saying) One of the biggest lies in our world is the lie of education. You know, the one that says, “If we just knew better, we’d do better.” I’m not out to disparage education—it’s an indispensable part of life. I’m just calling out the lie […]

  • The King House

    The limitation of riots, moral questions aside, is that they cannot win and their participants know it. Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary because it invites defeat. It involves an emotional catharsis, but it must be followed by a sense of futility. (Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.)   One night during the Montgomery bus […]

  • Live to Laugh Another Day

    “The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.” (H.G. Wells) We’ve all had one of those days. One kid breaks his leg. Another fails her science midterm. The car won’t start. You miss your flight, and you spill coffee all over your laptop. It happens. You probably won’t laugh at the time, but one […]

  • A More Perfect Person

    “What is important is to keep learning, to enjoy challenge, and to tolerate ambiguity. In the end there are no certain answers.” (Martina Horner) You will never be perfect. If you’re on a quest for perfection, you’ll end up at a place called frustration. Parents never “arrive” — neither do spouses — or leaders — […]

  • The First Step

    “You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” (Michael Jordan) Want to be a great parent? A great spouse? A great co-worker or boss or leader or teacher? Here’s your first step: expect that you can. Stop telling yourself that you can’t do this. Stop beating yourself up for the times […]

  • ScreamFree Roadtrip

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