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June 19, 2018

Look for the good; don’t squint for the bad

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
(Marcus Aurelius)


Often it’s the meanings we attach to events or conversations that cause us the most pain.


Think about it: Someone else’s child gets engrossed in conversation and forgets to pick up their plate after dinner. You playfully remind them to do so. What happens when your child does the same thing? Suddenly it MEANS something. They don’t respect you. They’re lazy. You haven’t done a proper job in getting them to take responsibility around the house.


If you can extract yourself from this kind of thinking, you can free yourself up to look for the good in your child rather than squint for the bad. You actually give yourself the choice as to whether or not to take something personally. That’s why taking just a moment – in the heat of the moment – gives you tremendous power.


Peace begins with pause,