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TBT: Punish and Perish
Some of the biggest mistakes we parents (and all leaders) make is our stubborn belief in punishment. “You deserve to be punished” is such a…
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Testing Comes Before Learning
Hey folks, Jenny here (Hal’s my husband). As I’ve started a new school year (I teach 12th grade English), I’ve been reflecting on my daughter’s journey through school.
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Fire the Projectionist
I am just old enough to remember movie theaters that would rise and fall with the right projectionist, the man or woman feeding the film onto the big screen.
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Your Home is a Think Tank
I am a bit surprised when I hear parents say they aren’t interested in teaching their children to think for themselves. Their line of thinking goes something like this: “Children can’t be trusted to make good choices, so I can’t give them the option of choice. I have to tell them what to do so that I can make sure that they do the right things.”
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Critical Warning
Imagine you’re in a dance class, and you’ve just learned a routine. You’re having a bit of trouble with the steps, and you look to the teacher for help. Your teacher Mr. Critic stands watching, while telling you, “You’re not doing it correctly. That step is wrong. Your timing is off.”
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Our Kids are Not Our Kings
When parents are obeying their children, living and responding kowtow to the child’s needs and behavior, it’s not always obvious. Our three-year-olds aren’t clad in togas and wreaths of gold leaves barking orders or cracking whips, after all. Children do not take control or hijack the remote control from their parents—we give it to them.
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The Practice of Parenting
It is so helpful to think of this parenting journey as a practice. Just as lawyers and doctors and therapists operate a practice, so do we parents. We are constantly learning on the job, constantly facing new challenges that no books could have completely prepared us for.
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A More Perfect Person
“What is important is to keep learning, to enjoy challenge, and to tolerate ambiguity. In the end there are no certain answers.” (Martina Horner) You will never be perfect. If you’re on a quest for perfection, you’ll end up at a place called frustration. Parents never “arrive” — neither do spouses — or leaders — […]
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The First Step
“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” (Michael Jordan) Want to be a great parent? A great spouse? A great co-worker or boss or leader or teacher? Here’s your first step: expect that you can. Stop telling yourself that you can’t do this. Stop beating yourself up for the times […]
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What Education Is
“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” (Robert Frost) People often ask if being ScreamFree means not caring what other people (like your kids or your spouse) do or say anymore. This is a fairly common misconception amongst people who tend to think in extremes. Either […]