“Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. “

(Chinese proverb)

The first step of lasting growth is to change your thinking about growth itself. Making small changes and being gentle with yourself along the way is your best bet to achieving the kind of difference you’re hoping to make. Expecting instant results, whether on the scales or in your home, will only land you back where you don’t want to be.

So, train yourself to think like a bamboo stalk. For the first two years after it is planted, no matter how much the gardener wants it to spread (and no matter how much care he gives it), the stalk will remain about the same on the surface. Nothing visible is really happening, but underground the plant is developing roots and shoots that will soon surface and spread like crazy. Once these shoots emerge, they have been clocked to grow up to 47 inches a 24-hour period.

When it comes to making any sort of lasting change, slower is oftentimes better. If you have overeaten and not exercised for 10 years, you cannot expect to change your habits and undo the damage in a couple of workouts. The same is true for parenting. If you are reversing not only months, but maybe years of reactionary child rearing (perhaps harking back to the way you were raised), you have to be patient with yourself. Like the bamboo tree, your growth inside will come before you blossom outside.

Peace begins with pause,