There’s some new research out there confirming what we’ve strongly suspected for awhile: Strict, authoritarian parenting, using psychological intimidation to demand obedience, greatly increases the chances a child will end up bullying other kids, or being bullied themselves.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise–kids who’ve been bullied by their parents will either mimic that behavior on others, or allow others to bully them as well. It’s what they know.

What does come as a surprise is the new research showing that extremely permissive parenting can have the same effect as well–increasing the numbers of both bullies and the bullied.

Turns out being too hands on, directing your kids’ every move, and being too hands off, denying your kids the loving guidance they need, can have equally destructive effects.

So, what style of parenting reduces bullying on all fronts? Balanced, loving respect for kids’ autonomy and their need for age-based instruction.

At ScreamFree, we call that giving your kids both space and place: The space they need to be their own person, and the knowledge of their place in the family, where their own individual space ends.

Peace begins with pause,