Hey Pausers out there,

I’m in the thick of writing my next book, so please enjoy this week’s Pauses from the past. As always, I love hearing your feedback, so just comment and let us know what you think!

“I’m just sayin’…”
(passive-aggressive people everywhere)

We all want to enjoy great relationships with the people that matter most. Spouses & kids, friends & coworkers, siblings & parents. Even our bosses.

Too bad we let our mouths get in our way.

This week we’re going to examine 5 common phrases we all use, which almost always damage the very relationships we want to enjoy. Today’s is so popular, and so seemingly harmless, you might question its placement here.

“I’m just sayin’…” Umm, no you’re not. No one is ever “just sayin’.” You’ve just uttered a potentially uncomfortable, rude, or controversial statement, and now you’re trying to passive-aggressively pass it off as just a passing thought.

By saying “just sayin’,” we somehow believe we can’t be held accountable for the statement. Like if I’m just saying my opinion, I’m not actually doing anything with it.

Let’s be honest instead. Every time we speak, we’re doing something with that speech. We’re always trying to influence someone to think, feel, or do something. So, let’s be grownups and admit it.

Like this:

“I’m not just sayin’ this—I really want you to consider a different decision.”

Or

“I’m not just sayin’ this—I really think that guy is dangerous.”

Or how about this:

“I’m not just sayin’—I really don’t like it when you say ‘just sayin’.”

Peace begins with pause,