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June 5, 2018

The 30-Year-Old Baby

“If you want a baby, have a new one. Don’t baby the old one. ”
(Jessamyn West, U.S. author (1903-1984))

 

Perhaps you saw this story last month, about a couple suing their 30-year-old to make him move out of the house.

 

One of the ironies in life is that often, when we operate out of doubt and fear, we drive ourselves to the very outcomes we are seeking to avoid. A 30-year-old baby isn’t cute by anyone’s standards, and when we baby our kids, we are well on our way to creating that very outcome.

 

When we hold our children, let’s be careful not to hold them back. When we do too much for them, and passively allow them to shirk their responsibilities to the rest of the family, we are not doing them any favors. In fact, we do so usually to avoid the discomfort of a fight, which is quite selfish.

 

Give your child (especially your youngest) things s/he can be fully responsible for, and then respect them enough to do them or not (and taste the natural consequences of either decision).

 

(And start launching them out of the nest long before they hit 30).

 

Peace begins with pause,