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August 3, 2015

And the Two Shall Become Ones

Hal photo outside Feb2012That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.” (Paul Tournier)

In this rapidly-changing world of romantic relationships, we are all having to adjust to some new terms. Committed couples, refusing marriage but calling themselves life-partners. Same-sex couples, pursuing marriage, with wives and husbands having…wives and husbands.

In all this change, there’s one term growing in popularity, and it is definitely growing on me: “significant other.”

So much gets represented in those words: this is the most important person in my life, and I fully recognize that she is not me; she is an…other.

So many problems in romance begin by not recognizing the otherness of our mate. We get anxious when we disagree, or see the same situation quite differently, or begin to change our previously held notions. So, we try to negate this otherness with persuasion, or passive-aggressive manipulation, or screaming into submission.

Everything changes when we remember that when we connected our hearts with another, we were attracted to them as an…other.

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