Helping Your Kids Make Friends
The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.
Watching our kids struggle with friendships is one of the hardest parts of parenting. That’s why I specifically addressed the topic in one of the chapters in the book I wrote to my daughter, Choose Your Own Adulthood, which comes out March 28th:
Be More Interested, Be Less Interesting
As any of us face new social situations, it can be tempting to think up and share things about ourselves others may find interesting. While this may work a little, it can easily backfire into looking a little self-absorbed. A far more effective strategy is this: Be more interested, and be less interesting. Take a genuine interest in others, asking them questions about themselves, their lives, their interests, and what makes them happiest.
You can go to a party, and make friends with a number of people, without really trying that hard. All you have to do is get curious:
“Where are you from?”
“What do you miss most about your hometown?”
“Do you have any family close by?”
“Who in your family are you closest to?”
And on and on. This is a skill that may not come naturally, but it can be learned, and we all get to practice it every day. Try it on someone this week. Then teach it to your kids.
Peace begins with pause,