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Let the Sun Shine
“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” (Benjamin Franklin) Worry is the most useless emotion that we can exhibit. It sucks away your time, energy, joy and hope. Yet most of us indulge in it on a daily basis because we are a country of world class […]
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It’s Nothing Personal
“They say that blood is thicker than water. Maybe that’s why we battle our own with more energy and gusto than we would ever expend on strangers.” (David Assael) Jenny here. I’ll admit it. I often treat total strangers with much more dignity and respect than I do my own loved ones. Before today, I […]
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Goal Shedding
“We inevitably doom our children to failure and frustration when we try to set their goals for them.” (Dr. Jess Lair) As my teenagers age, we both engage in a sort of mutual disillusionment. As they become more conscious and educated, their illusion of me as the strongest, smartest, greatest parent in the world* has […]
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Human Husbandry, Part 1
“I am firm. You are obstinate. He is a pig-headed fool.” (Katharine Whitehorn) Learning to represent yourself well, especially in difficult conversations, is among life’s greatest pursuits. It takes careful pause, so you don’t rashly react. It takes careful speech, so your words are clear and unmistakable. Then it takes another careful pause, so you […]
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Grow Yourself
“Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.” (Herbert Otto) The search for a placid, tranquil life is elusive, in a sense, because you are constantly changing. Life is change, and you’ve got to keep adjusting to it. This means you’ll […]
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We’re All Mixed
“All marriages are mixed marriages.” (Chantal Saperstein) The phrase “mixed marriage,” thankfully, makes no sense to my two teenagers. For them, interracial or interreligious or intercultural marriages are so common they’re seen as “normal.” For those of us who grew up in an earlier time, “mixed marriages” was, for a while, a socially acceptable way […]
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Confront Yourself
“The beginning of worthwhile living is the confrontation with ourselves.” (Henry Emerson Fosdick) You could think of life as a journey, a flight through the wild world “out there” and up the ladder of success. Making a difference or leading a life of purpose means achieving something external — some great humanitarian effort, or creating […]
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Children Aren’t Heavenly
“It is dangerous to confuse children with angels.” (David Fyfe) “Oh, she’s such a little angel,” we might say when she’s 18 mos. We mean well, ‘cause we’ve been conditioned to praise good behavior whenever we see it. We think we can shape the future by labeling the present. But then the truth always rears its pretty […]
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Your Wisdom is Yours
“We can be knowledgable with other men’s knowledge, but we can’t be wise with other men’s wisdom.” (Montaigne) A teacher can share his intelligence with you. You can attend school or read books to accumulate a vast body of knowledge. The internet gives us access to more information than we ever thought possible. Wisdom, however, […]
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Thinking Together
“The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.” (Robert C. Dodds) “Thoughtful” is a term that we commonly misuse. Whenever someone does something kind, we often describe such a gesture as “so thoughtful.” Such a usage limits the power of the term, however. Instead of just meaning “kind,” we should […]