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April 25, 2018

Common Ground?

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.”
(Pearl Buck)


Yesterday, I did another “Real Talk” segment on NBC’s “Atlanta & Co.” The conversation was about common interests between spouses. Should a woman learn to be interested in her guy’s hobbies? Should a guy learn to like chick-flicks? Check out the segment here (I had a lot of fun with this one).


Common ground with your spouse may not be a rock solid foundation upon which to build your marriage. Individually, we are shifting sands. That is to say, we grow, we evolve, we change our likes and dislikes. There’s nothing wrong with having shared interests, but healthy marriages allow for unshared interests as well. The key is learning how to accommodate these changes in one another.


The architects of earthquake-proof skyscrapers in Tokyo, Japan show us the power of flexibility. As the earth’s tectonic plates move, the steel structures’ built-in shock-absorbing technology keeps the buildings from toppling over. The entire building sways. YouTube it if you don’t believe it.


If a skyscraper can manage to be flexible to a 8.9 magnitude earthquakes, you can surely manage to sway with the various ways in which your partner changes over the years. Staying rigid to these movements will inevitably lead to collapse.


Accept growth and change in your spouse. That will allow your marriage the flexibility to shift during any major quakes and stay intact throughout the ever-shifting landscape of ever after.


Peace begins with pause,


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