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April 11, 2017

Find Another Parent for Your Kids

“The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent.”
(Mel Lazerus)

It’s normal for children, especially teenagers, to push back against their parents. They’re working very hard to differentiate themselves from you, and they’re not mature enough to realize you can be close to someone and still hold different values and opinions from them.

Heck, we’re not usually mature enough to realize this either, which is why we tend to take it personally when our kids reject our opinions and advice.

Perhaps the best thing we can do to help guide our kids into adulthood is to find someone else…someone who doesn’t make all the rules, someone you trust, someone to whom your child will actually listen. This could be a family member, like an aunt, perhaps, or an older cousin, or a grandparent. It could be from outside the family as well: a trusted family friend, or a teacher, a coach, or guidance counselor.

The real trick is to not be offended when someone else you both trust can really help your teens get through something difficult.

Be a big enough person to seek out and accept that kind of help. It doesn’t diminish your influence. In fact, that kind of maturity will actually increase it.

Peace begins with pause,

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