Good Sex is Dying
“Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off.”
A recent study of 26,000 adults reveals that in the 2010s, Americans are having less sex than they did 20 years ago. That’s right. Despite the supposed new sexual freedom of the Millennial generation, American couples are connecting sexually an average of nine fewer times per year.
I hope this isn’t true for your marriage, but according to the study, the decline was seen across gender, race, region, education, employment and relationship status.
So what’s to blame for this decline? The researchers cite hectic schedules, libido-crushing SSRI anti-depressants, and the rise of iPads and smartphones in the bedroom, taking partners mentally away to anywhere but there with each other.
Those are all definitely factors, but sound more like convenient ways to avoid the vulnerability, the discomfort, and the personal growth required for great sex.
The truth is that sex is the perfect double-edged sword: It offers the greatest human connection possible, but only if you’re willing to risk the greatest human injury possible. No one can touch you like the one you expose yourself the most to, and no one can hurt you like the one you expose yourself the most to.
This is the real reason online pornography, sex novels like the Fifty Shades series, and virtual reality affairs will continue to rise in popularity: They offer us the pleasures of sex without all the risk.
This is also the reason, however, that these things leave us feeling lonely, depressed, weak, and resentful of our partner.
Peace begins with pause,