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April 23, 2018

New Ideas

“New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not common.”
(John Locke)


New ideas are not usually popular ideas, especially in the field of human relationships. Perhaps this is because adopting a new parenting or marriage philosophy, for instance, can mean abandoning what your family-of-origin practiced and taught.


Well, we tend to teach some radical new ideas here in The Daily Pause, sometimes so radical it takes awhile before people accept and adopt them:


—You are not responsible for your kids and the choices they make; you are responsible to them for the choices you make.
—You are neither capable of nor called to meet your spouse’s needs, and vice-versa, because neediness is not the foundation of a mutually chosen relationship (and it is not attractive).
—Parenting is not about raising kids, it’s about apprenticing and then launching new adults into the world.
—Raising your voice to be heard actually increases people’s efforts to tune you out.


Researching and discovering these principles, and then crafting memorable ways to communicate them, is my life’s work. But that doesn’t mean I take it personally when folks resist these ideas at first; that’s just human nature at work.


What I care most about is whether our mere discussion of these ideas furthers your deep desire and growing ability to love yourself and others well.


Peace begins with pause,


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