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June 5, 2015

Real Mature

Hal photo outside Feb2012“Maturity is both a static and a dynamic concept.” (Leo Buscaglia)

It’s generally understood that mature people have a strong sense of who they are, separate and apart from others. They understand their need for intimate relationships, but they are not dependent upon others to give them their identity.

In this way, maturity can be said to be a destination — a place at which we arrive sometime in our lives.

The challenge is for grown ups to remain constantly growing. To do this, we must realize that maturity is not merely a destination; it is also a process. In fact, the essence of maturity is not only understanding who we are but who we may yet become.

2 thoughts on “Real Mature

  1. The idea that mature people are not dependent on others actually contradicts what we have learned about adult relationships through attachment theory. It seems to me that it has recently been proven that, however uncomfortable it may seem, we are programmed to depend on those that we are in intimate relationships with. The idea that mature relationships are just a meeting of two independent and self-directed adults looks like it should be re-evaluated in this light. I would read to see Hal’s detailed thoughts on this question of dependence.

    • Thanks for your thoughtful response, Toby. This post says that healthy adults do not need others to give them their sense of self. I believe that a proper understanding of one’s own identity is a vital part of strong, intimate relationships where healthy interdependence can be explored.

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