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August 7, 2015

Swearing Out Loud

Hal photo outside Feb2012Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.” (Norman Douglas)

When I stood up there at the altar 22 years ago today, in front of God and everybody, I took an oath. I swore to the heavens, to my bride Jenny, and to myself that I would “I do,” as long as we both lived.

I didn’t say “We do,” and I sure didn’t say, “As long as you do, I do.” I said “I do…even when you don’t.”

And so did you. This was not a promise to behave a certain way as long as it’s prudent, or productive. This was an oath you and I swore to, calling ourselves to a standard of allegiance, fidelity, and hope. We promised to love, to honor, to cherish this one like no other.

If our spouses don’t live up to this oath, so be it. You and I can always confront them on this. And we should, using the ScreamFree Marriage principle of Authentic Self-Representation.

What we cannot do is break the same oath, but justify it because at least we didn’t do it first.

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