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June 1, 2017

TBT: Advice on Giving Advice

“Advice is seldom welcome, and those who need it the most, like it the least.”
(Lord Chesterfield)


Giving advice to anyone is tricky business. A good rule of thumb to follow is this: never give it unless you are specifically asked. We all know those people who feel the need to tell you what they would do, even though you never asked for their input. No matter how insightful their input may be, we dread hearing it because it reeks of self-importance and arrogance.

It comes across the same way to our kids when we do it to them. Certainly, you should teach your children about life as you go through it together. Talk to them about principles like reaping and sowing, to be sure. But resist the urge to do so in the heat of the moment. Advising them on a decision, without being invited, will often lead to a battle.

At most, ask them a question like this: “Is this something you’d like my help with?”

Peace begins with pause,


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