Tell Me, Don’t Show Me
“Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you.” (Austin O’Malley)
Funny thing about revenge — in an effort to heal our hurt we decide to hurt right back. Whenever we choose to do the same behavior in retaliation, it’s as if we deem the other person’s bad behavior not bad in and of itself; it’s just bad because they did it first.
This is especially fascinating in marriage. Like it or not, we all have a tendency to keep score. We too quickly make an assumption about being unfairly treated, and we immediately try to rectify the situation. Our dearly beloved uses the insider information they have on us, and everything in us screams out to get revenge — by doing the same right back to them. That’ll show ‘em, we reason.
Show ‘em what? How much they’ve hurt you? Why not just tell them that straight up? “Ouch, honey, that really hurt. I don’t know if you were meaning to insult me like that, but you did.”
By telling them, you end up showing them something better: maturity.