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August 30, 2017

The 3rd Best Way to Suffer Well

“Life’s deepest wounds are self-inflicted.”
(Bill Clinton)


This week we’ve talked about Acknowledging our suffering, and even learning to Appreciate it. Today may be the most difficult way to suffer well: Admitting our part.


Suffering at the hands of others, or by the accidents of life, is one thing. Suffering because of our own mistakes is something else altogether.


I have made some mistakes in my life. Marriage, parenting, finances, business, health…you name it. I know I’m also still hanging on to some of the pain, and even the shame, of those mistakes.


Undoubtedly, so have you. Can you admit it, without adding a “but…” afterwards? Can you own your part of your suffering, without excusing yourself by blaming others? We’re not talking about beating yourself up—there’s no need to go to those extremes. In fact, doing so would be another mistake. We’re simply trying to be grownups here, admitting that we each own a part of our suffering (not all, but certainly a part).


The good news about doing this kind of admission is what happens afterwards. Admitting our part, you see, brings us to a new choice. If our mistake is something that can be corrected, then admitting it is the first step toward doing so. If, on the other hand, our mistake is not something that can be undone, then admitting it is also a first step…toward forgiving ourselves.


Peace begins with pause,



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