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August 18, 2017

When You Win, You Lose

“In this game, by trying to win, you automatically lose.”
(Ruth Ross)


A few years into our marriage, in the midst of a lovely fight, Jenny changed her tone and simply announced: “Okay, you’re right…you win.”


And then she walked away.


That was a hollow victory, to be sure. The problem was thinking about it in terms of right and wrong, winning or losing. If the ultimate goal is something that can only be accomplished together, then one side victorious over another can only be registered as a defeat for both (something to consider for politics, perhaps?).


In relationship battles, there are no victors, only casualties.


Peace begins with pause,



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