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TBT: Wise Men Talking
“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.” (Plato) Most people could be far more effective in their parenting if they would take this quote to heart. Certainly, there are times when conversation is totally appropriate and will go a long way towards creating a good relationship […]
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Law Enforcement
“What you cannot enforce, do not command.” (Sophocles) Some of us fantasize about our kids (or our employees) simply obeying all the rules all the time, without us having to ever enforce any consequences. Good luck. So, what to do? Lecturing is ineffective and erodes the fabric of the relationship that you’ve worked so hard […]
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Say What?
“Most conversations are merely monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.” (Margaret Millar) Learning to truly engage in conversation with another is among life’s greatest challenges. We have to listen with our full focus, restrain the need to quickly correct or critique what we just heard, and then represent ourselves with calm, clear authenticity. No […]
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Quiet Time
“What is a home without children? Quiet.” (Henny Youngman) Living with children can sometimes sound like being ringside at a three-ring circus. There’s often too much going on to make sense of, and sooner or later, as ringmaster, you end up cracking your whip just to get a little peace and quiet. ScreamFree Parenting advocates turning […]
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Swearing Out Loud
“Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.” (Norman Douglas) When I stood up there at the altar 22 years ago today, in front of God and everybody, I took an oath. I swore to the heavens, to my bride Jenny, and to myself that I would “I do,” as long as we […]
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TBT: Siamese Surgery
“Togetherness is a good thing. Separateness is a good thing. We need each in order to have a really great relationship, and they need to be balanced. Even more important is the ability to combine the two at the same time.” (John & Linda Friel, The 7 Best Things Happy Couples Do) As a kid […]
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Waiting
“Endurance is nobler than strength and patience than beauty.” (John Ruskin) Immediacy is one the seven deadly sins of the 21st century. We all bow down to the technology-driven belief that quicker is inherently better. What this has done to our romantic relationships is incalculable. Gone are the love letters, the sonnets, and the serenades. […]
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Procrastination Station
“Put off for one day, and ten days will pass.” (Korean proverb) Unfinished business is among our greatest sources of distress. It can make a simple walk through the house an exhausting battle against the clothes that need to be put up, the papers that need to be organized, and the dishes that need to […]
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And the Two Shall Become Ones
“That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.” (Paul Tournier) In this rapidly-changing world of romantic relationships, we are all having to adjust to some new terms. Committed couples, refusing marriage but calling themselves life-partners. […]
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Failing to Learn from Failure
“Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again.“ (Henry Ford) Yesterday we looked at the wisdom of risking enough to fail, and encouraging our kids to do the same. So what do you do after the failure? As always, the first response is: breathe. The second response is to quiet the regret monkeys […]