“Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
(Unknown)

In honor of National Marriage Week, we’re gonna devote The Daily Pause all week to the mysteries and challenges of romantic commitment.

When we look at our marriages, we believe we’re looking at a window, with our spouse on the other side. We can so easily see what they’re lacking, what part they’re playing in our collective unhappiness, and what they need to change.

Closer to the truth is this: When we’re looking at our marriages, we’re looking in a mirror. Everything we see our spouse doing has come in reaction/response to what we’ve done, and vice-versa. We are in a constant dance with our partner, each of our steps affecting, and being affected by the other.

Complaining about our spouse’s part of the dance, as if we’re looking in a window at their clearly bad behavior, is the easiest way to stay stuck in a dance we don’t like.

If we realize it’s actually a mirror we’re looking into, then we have a chance for change. That way we can see our own dance steps, and see how they’re not just following, but actually contributing, to the dance we don’t like.

Peace begins with pause,