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The 3rd Worst Phrase You Can Say
This phrase should only be allowed if we’re throwing our arms up in resignation while we say it, because that’s what we’re doing—resigning.
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Making Your Kids Rich
We can bless our children with material things, with educational opportunities, or with our own hard-earned wisdom. All of those things are important and good for their development. But they are not absolutely vital (at least not from us).
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Expect Less
One of the things that makes extended family issues so difficult is the fact of being “family.” That label carries with it certain expectations: loyalty, belonging, support, connection, love.
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Laugh or Die
Parenting is serious business. Talk about a “fearful strain!” There are diapers to change and manners to teach. There is homework to supervise and a schedule to keep.
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Fair may not feel equal
The term “fair” has been thrown around so much (particularly by children) I think we’ve lost sight of what it really means. To exude fairness is to be without bias or dishonesty, and to be clear and easy to read. It has little to do with equality and everything to do with integrity.
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Rules for screen time
Several years ago, when our kids were little, and as more and more screens entered our hourly lives, Jenny and I started using “screen time” as our go-to consequence for misbehavior.
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Battling Against a Battle
Battle is a word from warfare, and it conveys the idea of trying to defeat your opponent. That’s why it is so difficult to have what Ms. Landers calls a “good” battle. As long as you are defining your significant other as your opponent, and as long as you are handling the natural conflicts between you by trying to defeat this opponent, you will not create the close relationship you crave.
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Launching Hope
According to census data in 1960, about 18% of 25-year-olds in America lived with their parents. In 2015, that number was over 30%. These aren’t kids in college claiming their parents’ home as their permanent address. These aren’t 22-year-olds having just graduated. These are 25-year old adults, still crashing with Mom & Dad.
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Are you friends with your kids?
There’s a very common parenting axiom thrown around these days. In an effort to reverse the trend towards over-involvement in our kids’lives, we parents will proudly proclaim that “Kids need us to be their parents, not their friends.”
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Looking Eye to Eye
Yesterday we talked about our somewhat strange advice to rarely look your children in the eye. The power differential between a parent and child is so pronounced that, if we ever want them to open up and share their struggles, we need to restrain from any intimidating gestures, like looking them in the eye.
Several of you had some issues/questions about this, both in direct reply to the email and on our FB page.