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Your Home is a Think Tank
I am a bit surprised when I hear parents say they aren’t interested in teaching their children to think for themselves. Their line of thinking goes something like this: “Children can’t be trusted to make good choices, so I can’t give them the option of choice. I have to tell them what to do so that I can make sure that they do the right things.”
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What Really Spoils a Child
We don’t like to admit it, but we often go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation with our children. Sometimes we don’t like to disappoint them. Sometimes we don’t have confidence in our own authority. Sometimes, it’s just plain easier. But when you walk on eggshells with your child, you are treading on dangerous ground.
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Our Kids are Not Our Kings
When parents are obeying their children, living and responding kowtow to the child’s needs and behavior, it’s not always obvious. Our three-year-olds aren’t clad in togas and wreaths of gold leaves barking orders or cracking whips, after all. Children do not take control or hijack the remote control from their parents—we give it to them.
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Keep It Down
One of the startling truths about parental anxiety is that we often try to stamp out the very qualities and skills that will serve our children best in adulthood. We get so frustrated at our kids’ refusal to take the first ‘no’ for an answer, yet that’s the exact skill they’ll learn in Sales and Negotiation 101. We openly complain about our “strong-willed child,” but if we want our kids to say no to peer pressure, they had better have a strong-will.
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AMA: Parenting Under Pressure
Ever wanted to yell, “Don’t make me turn this car around”? Driving in the Car with Kids… Hal’s “Ask Me Anything” question of the week!
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AMA: Parenting Under Pressure
Ever wanted to yell, “Don’t make me turn this car around”? Driving in the Car with Kids… Hal’s “Ask Me Anything” question of the week!
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Friend or Disciplinarian?
“I want my child to feel she can see me as a friend but, at the same time, I need to wear other hats such as the disciplinarian. How can I balance the two?” ~Confused Mom We all want to be liked by our kids, don’t we? I have yet to meet a […]
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Ask the Expert — Low Self-Esteem
“I have a question about my 5 1/2 year old son. When he gets in trouble, he reacts by talking in a baby voice and punishing himself. He’ll say things like, “I’m stupid” or “You don’t like me” or “I don’t like myself” in reaction to me getting after him about something he’s not supposed […]
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Ask the Expert: Wear Only One Hat
I want my child to feel she can see me as a friend, but at the same time, I need to wear other hats such as the disciplinarian. How can I balance the two? (Laila in Kentucky) Laila, I believe you can find the balance you seek, but I want to invite you to see […]
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ICYMI — 17
Because last week ended with the dreaded day known as “Black Friday” I chose not to post my usual list of links to things I found while looking around the internets. Still, there are plenty of things out there worthy of your time. For example, this Time Magazine article helps parents understand why our kids […]