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Where Violent Conflict Begins
Violence and rage occur as a reaction to our fear, hurt, shame, loneliness or some combination of the four, and…When we are violent or rageful, it is not because of something the other person does, but because of something we do not do. (John & Linda Friel) In this week’s Daily Pauses, we’ve examined some […]
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Failure is not Fatal
One of the great gifts we can bestow on others is the gift of enthusiasm around failures. I know this sounds contrary to, well, every instinct we have. But given how much valuable information each of our failures can contain, it is no wonder that some of our greatest success stories actually came to celebrate failure.
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Tell Me Don’t Show Me
Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you. (Austin O’Malley) Funny thing about revenge—in an effort to heal our hurt we decide to hurt right back. Whenever we choose to do the same behavior in retaliation, It’s as if we deem the other person’s bad behavior not bad in and of […]
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Teens and Tech, Part 1
In our plea for your questions last week, a large majority of you asked about teens and technology. There’s room for a whole book on that topic (and I may be writing one), but for now consider this:
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Talking to Your Kids About Terror
Outrage. Fear. Confusion. Judgment. All of these emotions are swelling in and around us. And they all may entirely justifiable.
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Your Home is a Think Tank
I am a bit surprised when I hear parents say they aren’t interested in teaching their children to think for themselves. Their line of thinking goes something like this: “Children can’t be trusted to make good choices, so I can’t give them the option of choice. I have to tell them what to do so that I can make sure that they do the right things.”
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The Road Ahead
As you travel on this road of raising adults, I sincerely hope you have your own parents to help. I hope you have parents and in-laws who are humble and hopeful. Having wise guides to give you a glimpse of what might be coming can be an invaluable resource to a young, inexperienced, exhausted parent.
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Can You Live with It? (part II)
Two days ago we talked about a very powerful truth: when we cannot control our own emotions, we inevitably try to control other people’s behavior.
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Petty Peeves
“You are no bigger than the things that annoy you.” (Jerry Bundsen) It’s easy to put myself on a pedestal whenever I feel extremely annoyed by my children, my colleague, or the woman in front of me in the grocery store line talking to her phone instead of the cashier. In those moments, if I’m […]
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What (Not) to Expect
“You must not expect old heads upon young shoulders.” (English Proverb) Anytime we expect more than we should, we’re setting ourselves up for frustration. This is especially true when it comes to parenting. Your kids are going to act like kids. This shouldn’t surprise you; it’s their job. Kids do stupid things. They’ll attach their […]