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June 30, 2009

Calgon, Take Him Away…Please

Image: Flickr/Steven Depolo

Image: Flickr/Steven Depolo

Someone help me out here. Why does my 10 year old son avoid showering like his life depended upon it? Does he think that his burgeoning masculinity will wash off with the soap and be forever lost down the drain? Is he afraid that smelling clean will lessen his chances in the major leagues – a destiny that he is so sure of that he can’t really decide if he wants to play pro baseball, basketball, or football?

I really don’t get it. What is not to like about showers? Ok, I am probably not the right person to ask that question. I am admittedly a fan. A huge fan. First, there is the hot water. The hotter the better. Then you add good smelling bubbly soap, a wonderfully exfoliating scrubbie, and at least 8 minutes all to yourself. What could be better?

A hot shower washes away all the crud that life throws your way. It is a literal fresh start and a way to let go of life – even for just 8 minutes.

But try telling all of that to my son and you’ll get this reply…”Um….yeah. Can I take one tomorrow?” Translation: You are a crazy person who doesn’t understand how good it feels to be so dirty that your hair crunches and your belly button sprouts a colony of boll weevils.

Oh well. Maybe he’ll grow out of it. At least for now I can take solace in the fact that it is summer and that chlorine kills at least some of the things growing on him that I’d rather not face.

3 thoughts on “Calgon, Take Him Away…Please

  1. My 5 year old boy begs to shower or “have a bath” all the time .. does that mean it will stop when he’s 9 or 10 ? In the meantime, his sisters look at me like I’m crazy when I ask them to shower every night !!! I think my kids have it backwards!

  2. I hope this helps, every parent who brings their 10+ year old son to me for counseling has the EXACT same issue with their smelly boys. I don’t get it, but when girls come into the picture he will shower and will use that smelly AXE stuff until it makes you gag.

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