Go ahead, make mistakes
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more
useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
(George Bernard Shaw)
Many parents find themselves petrified by possibilities. They know the stakes are high and the decisions they make will have strong ramifications. Understandably, they want to know exactly what to do in every possible situation.
Even if that were possible, it would make for a very heavy tool bag (and make for a lifeless relationship—no one likes to be “tooled”). ScreamFree Parenting is a freeing message because it downplays the notion of techniques. We teach principles instead, which can be applied differently with each situation, and allow you to tap into your uniqueness and creativity.
Parents, take the principle of “Empty Threats are Really Broken Promises.” One way to apply this might be to select a lesser consequence (I’m going to disable your phone for 24 hours) than the one your anger wants you to (you’re grounded for two months, young lady!!). That way, you know you can at least complete the consequence, and not be exposed as all bark and no bite.
Spouses, take the principle of “Intimacy Begins with an ‘I’.” One way to apply this today could be to text your spouse the following: “Hey there—I’d like to go to bed a little early tonight, and take you with me.” Or this: “Hey baby, I’m gonna take a strong look at our debt tonight, and I’d love you to join me. I believe we can do this.”
Now, could these decisions backfire? Possibly, depending on your intent and your tone, or on the recent context of your relationship. Don’t let that fear stop you. If you mess up, just view it as an opportunity to grow some more and try it again another way. Acknowledge the mistake and keep on keepin’ on.
Peace begins with pause,