There is only one thing to do for a man who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money,
and that is to enjoy earning it.”
(Ed Howe)

Obviously, some folks think this quote is funny. In fact, a lot of comedians (and even some marriage experts) make their careers out of exploiting gender-based stereotypes. You know, men are one way, and women are another, and we just need to understand our basic planetary differences.

However, are we really locked into these roles? Can women ever be the financially disciplined ones, or are they bound to be compulsive shoppers? Can men ever calmly and clearly address financial concerns with their wives, or must they simply shut up and bury themselves in their work?

I get that stereotypes don’t just appear out of thin air, but I think we’ve come too far in appreciating both genders’ multifaceted capabilities to lazily retreat to Mad Men-era stereotypes. You are always more than what popular sentiment says you are — as a woman, or as a man. The real challenge is to address your patterns without bringing gender into it.

If you’re trapped in bad financial dynamics in your marriage, don’t explain it away as just the way it is between men and women. Confront your own behavior (like overspending). Calmly address your spouse’s behavior (like overworking).

And now ask yourself which gender you assumed I was talking about as the overspender and the overworker.

Peace begins with pause,