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What usually goes with a big mouth?
A haiku for those of us who tend to get really opinionated (and loud about it):
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Dropping the mic
Sometimes, when you need to be persuasive, be courageous enough to simply state what you need to state, and then stop talking and walk away.
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Where Violent Conflict Begins
Violence and rage occur as a reaction to our fear, hurt, shame, loneliness or some combination of the four, and…When we are violent or rageful, it is not because of something the other person does, but because of something we do not do. (John & Linda Friel) In this week’s Daily Pauses, we’ve examined some […]
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The Path to Conflict Resolution
If you want to see eye-to-eye with someone, you don’t start by going toe-to-toe. Stand shoulder-to-shoulder instead.
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Battling Against a Battle
Battle is a word from warfare, and it conveys the idea of trying to defeat your opponent. That’s why it is so difficult to have what Ms. Landers calls a “good” battle. As long as you are defining your significant other as your opponent, and as long as you are handling the natural conflicts between you by trying to defeat this opponent, you will not create the close relationship you crave.
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The Relationships We Crave Most
Yesterday we talked about the terror some of us feel in our own homes. Scared of feeling rejected, ignored, dismissed, or unheard by the people who matter most, we reactively retreat to passivity and self-protection.
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More Conflict, Less Resentment
Whenever a couple comes into my counseling office and exclaims they haven’t had a fight in 3 years, I always respond the same way: Oh my gosh, what’s wrong?!?! And then I listen for whose internal time-bomb of resentment is ticking the loudest.
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Tell Me Don’t Show Me
Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you. (Austin O’Malley) Funny thing about revenge—in an effort to heal our hurt we decide to hurt right back. Whenever we choose to do the same behavior in retaliation, It’s as if we deem the other person’s bad behavior not bad in and of […]
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Teens and Tech, Part II
If we’re honest, one of the main reasons we parents struggle with our teens and technology is because we’re scared of being disliked.
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Couples Need to Disagree
When it comes to such critical areas as parenting, finances, or how to deal with extended families, we are all tempted to believe a very damaging lie: If we are to be truly “one,” then we cannot be divided by disagreement.