Feelings matter more than facts.

My 19yo daughter is working her tail off as a full-time nanny this summer. She’s also taking babysitting jobs on the weekends. While I love this fantastic form of birth control for her, it can be exhausting work.

Sometimes it can even be a little frightening. The other night, as the clock neared 10pm, she reached out and told me that for whatever reason, she was feeling scared for herself and the sleeping kids. “I know it’s not true, but sometimes it kinda feels like I’m in a horror movie!”

Who’s Your Mentor

This week one of my dearest mentors had a tragic accident, and is facing a treacherous journey. Knowing him, I firmly believe he will surprise a few doctors (but none of us) with an astounding recovery. That’s simply who he is. To Joe and all his loved ones, our prayers and thoughts surround you.

The Path to Conflict Resolution

If you want to see eye-to-eye with someone, you don’t start by going toe-to-toe. Stand shoulder-to-shoulder instead.

Terror in Our Homes

I know it sounds foolish, but I honestly believe for most of us, we are more scared of those in our own homes than even the most evil terrorists in the world. This is not because the terrorists aren’t terrifying. It’s because for the vast majority of us, they aren’t terribly close. The chances of […]

Having a Clean House is Overrated

Imagine your child in 25 years, sharing a cup of coffee with a friend as they reminisce about their childhood. What would you rather hear as a fly on the wall?

Independence Day

When my kids were much younger, I bought them each a fake-parchment copy of the Declaration of Independence, then had it nicely matted and framed. I told them they could decorate their rooms however they wanted, except they had to hang these Declarations somewhere visible.

Smile Your Way to Happiness

In his brilliant book Resilience, former Navy SEAL Eric Greitens delivers some amazing wisdom to a fellow SEAL struggling with the aftereffects of warfare. I just finished the book, and I can’t wait to share some of its lessons in future Daily Pauses. For now, take this piece of practical wisdom into your holiday weekend. […]

More Conflict, Less Resentment

Whenever a couple comes into my counseling office and exclaims they haven’t had a fight in 3 years, I always respond the same way: Oh my gosh, what’s wrong?!?! And then I listen for whose internal time-bomb of resentment is ticking the loudest.

Thoughtful Wishing

What do you want today?

A perfectly obedient toddler? Your boss to call in sick? A cool breeze on a hot day by the pool? A stiff drink? An actual chore done by your teen? Sex with your spouse?

Failure is not Fatal

One of the great gifts we can bestow on others is the gift of enthusiasm around failures. I know this sounds contrary to, well, every instinct we have. But given how much valuable information each of our failures can contain, it is no wonder that some of our greatest success stories actually came to celebrate failure.