What Really Spoils a Child

We don’t like to admit it, but we often go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation with our children. Sometimes we don’t like to disappoint them. Sometimes we don’t have confidence in our own authority. Sometimes, it’s just plain easier. But when you walk on eggshells with your child, you are treading on dangerous ground.

How We Learn to Confront

For the last week or so, we’ve been looking at Authentic Self-Representation, a method for confronting others instead of complaining about them.

Here’s how it works.

Our Kids are Not Our Kings

When parents are obeying their children, living and responding kowtow to the child’s needs and behavior, it’s not always obvious. Our three-year-olds aren’t clad in togas and wreaths of gold leaves barking orders or cracking whips, after all. Children do not take control or hijack the remote control from their parents—we give it to them.

Ask the Expert — Think Before You Trust

“I would like to know your opinion on a 13-year-old boy’s use of Facebook and Xbox Live. I want to trust him and let him choose to do the right things, but I also understand that he is too trusting of others. I have parental controls, but he complains that he can’t play with others […]

Semper Fi

“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.” (Bette Davis) Perhaps you haven’t experienced it yet, but as your kids move towards the teen years, the odds of it happening approach 100%. They push against our decisions and rules, and it feels to us like hate. They may […]

What Education Is

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” (Robert Frost) People often ask if being ScreamFree means not caring what other people (like your kids or your spouse) do or say anymore. This is a fairly common misconception amongst people who tend to think in extremes. Either […]

How to Unspoil Your Child

“It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation.” (John Gray) We hate to admit it, but there are times when we go to extremes simply to avoid confrontation with our children. Sometimes we don’t want to disappoint them. Sometimes we don’t have confidence in our own […]

Nothing New

“Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.” (Socrates, 470-399 B.C.) There you have it. Proof that children have always been thankless, greedy creatures — at least as far back as the days of Socrates. The next time your child says or does something that more resembles the […]

Affluenza

I was reading an article recently about a teen that was involved in a drunk driving crash that left four people dead. This teen later gave a reason for why he should be found blameless for the accident. He (or perhaps his lawyers) said he suffered from a condition called “Affluenza.” “Affluenza” isn’t a medically […]

An Open Letter To My Children

To My Kids, I know that I speak for your mother in saying that we love you with all that is inside of us. We had no idea how much you would enrich our lives, thus we thank God for you daily. I wanted to write a letter to you. Sure, I realize that the […]